How To Be A Nigerian : The Third (Long) Leg

In the month of October 2017, we read HOW TO BE A NIGERIAN by PETER ENAHORO. We loved the humour and we decided to expand the stories by starting our own HOW TO BE A NIGERIAN SERIES – THE KAWE VERSION.  

ENJOY!!! 

THE THIRD (LONG) LEG by Chimdinma Adriel Onwukwe 

When God moulded man and gave him the breath of life, his plan was for everyone to have TWO LEGS. But on the seventh day while God rested, the Nigerians made for themselves THIRD LEGS! 

This THIRD LONG LEG is highly INVSIBLE. Can’t be seen but it moves and aligns everything. 

Having a Third Leg simply means to have connections in high places; to be close to the power house and this third long leg moves ONLY when there is a NEED!

*A typical Conversation*

Mr. A: So how Njideka take get PPA for that Hospital?

Mrs. B: That girl get leg o. Her papa leg long pass sef. 

Mr. A: Because I come dey fear. I just know say no be luck. 

Mrs. B: Na so we see am o

This third leg makes you realize that in Nigeria, opportunities for competition are circumscribed by unfavourable social and economic development and for many people; resort to unofficial channels is almost inevitable.

It is also important to note that another name for this THIRD LONG LEG is “GOD’S GRACE” and “THANK GOD O”

The Third Long Leg reveals its invisible cloak during National Youth Service Corps; postings of young people begin to change by “GOD’S GRACE” so that those who were intially posted to Adamawa end up in Lagos by “GOD’S MIRACULOUS HAND”.

During my Law school posting, I saw the manifestations of various third long legs. 60% Percent of my classmates who were to go Kano and Yola ended up in Abuja and Lagos. I asked them how they managed to do it and they all replied saying; “IT WAS GOD’S GRACE. I REALLY PRAYED ABOUT IT”

We all know they never pray and they never prayed. It was the invisible third leg working.

You can’t truly call yourself a TRUE NIGERIAN if you are lacking in the THIRD LONG DEPARTMENT because truth be told, IT IS A NECESSITY!

Chimdinma Adriel Onwukwe is a budding lawyer and a loyal Stan for AFRICAN LITERATURE and CHIMAMANDA NGOZI ADICHIE. She fears she may have to choose Literature over Law someday. She runs THE AFRO READER a social enterprise that is aimed at promoting African Literature and making books as cool as possible.
Follow her on INSTAGRAM – @theafroreader